#   A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z  
Good Samaritan Of New York
Let me introduce myself..
I'm the Good Samaritan of New York
Here is my story...

I walk around these filthy streets
Filled with dirty scum, pimps, hookers, low-lifes, dead beats, tourists,
great masturbators, Wall St yuppies, freaks, killers, rapists, cops, pigs,
kinkos fuckers, druggies, and myself.

I walk around, probably with a sign on my forehead saying,
"I'm a nice person, ask me for directions."
Of course people do all the time, maybe because of my smile, or my frown, I
don't know.
But they ask me, so I tell them, like a song.

People get in my way, walk into me, bump into me.
They say 'sorry,'
but damn it, I donąt give a shit - just get the hell out of my fuckin' way!

I have to walk on the streets
Skipping the sidewalk as the toursits take up their time there
Like California beached whales

Sometimes I pass a homeless bum or drug addict stretched across the
sidewalk. Horizontally, blocking my way and intimidating others. Just the
other day it happend - So I yelled at the guy,
"Get The FUCK UP!," He rolled over and drooled.

But you see, hes different then the others.
Some bums are lying dead on the curb. Those, if you are a true New Yorker,
you just pass them.
And go on walking to your destination. Let the Times Square Business
Improvement Wanna-Be Cops deal with the dead. Not me, I have to go -

I passed a guy handing out cards to visit a go-go bar strip joint. He was
on the corner by the newspaper machines - looking odd, looking funny. Then
I realized, the mother fucker had his dick out and he was just pissing on
the street corner in broad busy working daylight!!! That god damn fucker!!!
So I yelled at him as I passed by - "DON'T FUCKIN' DO THAT!! - THERES A
I was fuckin furious, I'm tired of these assholes pissing all over my
sidewalk - damn it!!! He said something back to me, but my walkman was on,
so I didnąt hear the fucker. I should have just whacked him. So I told the
traffic patrol officer about the fucker who was publicly urinating - she
didnąt seem to give a crap - she told me to call the go-go bar and tell
them, then maybe the guy would get fired. Sure. Ticket your cars pig.

And those fucking pissers remind of those spitters. Damn it, if you have to
spit - spit at home or in a tissue or in the garbage can. And donąt fuckin
litter in my city fucker!- Theres a damn garbage can on every corner save
your trash - you live here fucker!

And whats up with the Budweiser-drinking construction workers who mimick
asian people who pass them by. Damn it, I should slice their racist throats!

And am I the only good samaritan here? I throw my trash in the can, piss in
the toilet, spit in a napkin -

Also - how about this, there was a guy on the train, a homeless disturbed man.
I saw him standing in the subway doors next to a young lady sitting. And he
stood their in his own absorbed stench. A smelly fuck. Why - I know, you
ask... Lets just say, his fly in his pants was open and in his soiled
underpants he praised his erection.
Underneath he went towards his one, you know - and thank goodness he didn't!! -
But I was prepared - If that bum dare started to stroke away on my subway
I would have gotten up and decked the fuckhead!! I just want you to know, I
was ready!
Its happened before, numerous female friends suffering from the male pig
masturbating on subway cars....

The other day I passed a bum who asked me for change, I said, "No, sorry,
not tonight"
I then went into the deli next door and got myself a sandwich. Kindness
wrapped around me and i bought another sandwich, drink and chips, not for
me. On my way out down the block I gave the sandwich and goodies to the bum
and he smiled with thankful appreciation.
Thats a good bum.

A few weeks later I was uptown at a deli with a friend. We were eating
inside and I noticed a bum outside on the street, begging for change from
people in their cars. So with the food I had bought for myself I went
outside to offer it to the homeless man. He denied. That fucker! He wanted
dimes and pennies for alcohol and drugs! Damn it! You try to help the
helpless fucks and its just not worth my time!!

and what about this, let me tell you...

Here in New York City, people die. They die because butt fucks in cars donąt
let the fire engines and ambulances through. Its horrible. So what do I do?
While others sit with their thumbs up their ass?
When a fire engine has to get through traffic, and beeping and screaming
and blowing its horn, and the moron New Jersey fucks and others block the
road and are deaf to the upcoming death in their cars- I stop the uncoming
traffic. Yes, I do - really. I jump out into the avenue, spread out my arms
and stop traffic, sure, some cars and taxis and trucks try to race thru and
run me over, but I stand my ground, and smack the sides of cars that race by me
and finally I stop traffic. Because if i donąt do it,
no one will, and if no one does, then the stranger across town
dies because of the inconsiderate fucks here on the road.
I save lives every day, do you?

So I'm The Good Samaritan of New York.
And that is my story.

© 1999 David Greg Harth @ 1515 New York City @  296 New York City @ 1515 New York City
All Contents are TRUE